Health & Wellness Lifestyle

Motherhood Realness: 12 Weeks Postpartum

March 5, 2018

It’s hard to describe how time operates when you have a baby. So much happens in such a short amount of time that it’s almost like time stands still and when you look back, it seems like he’s been here forever, but in actuality it has only been 3 months! March 2nd was my 35th birthday and Theodore’s 3 month! So we had a lot to celebrate!

As I said in my previous post, some have described the first 3 months after a baby’s birth as the 4th trimester. It’s filled with challenging moments especially for new parents. I’ve talked to so many moms and most of them agree that after the first 3 months things get better. I’ve already noticed small changes and I am happy to report that it’s true. Things are night and day better, also I think it’s because now I’m used to certain changes.

This past month I started sleep training Theodore, I know it’s too early for him to really get it, but I want to set a good foundation and bedtime routine. Daniel is a terrible sleeper and I hope Theodore didn’t inherit his gene. Sleep is so important for babies as it directly impacts their mental and physical development.

This past month I experienced one of Theodore’s growth spurt which threw me for a loop. We had been sleep training for about 2 weeks and making some good progress when BAM! We hit a wall. He was up all night, literally every hour feeding. It was as if he wasn’t getting enough food and he was starving. So I googled it and apparently it’s perfectly normal. I was worried it was my milk supply, but that is also another misconception, he’s just preparing my body to produce more milk, the milk he’ll need as he gets bigger, stronger and older. We were back to normal a few days later, but it’s felt like it came out of the blue. The body is an amazing thing and the bond between the mother and child’s bodies are incredible. Daniel teases me when I tell him this, but the second Theodore starts crying I feel my breast filling up. It’s like a trigger. So incredible. My sleep is still hard to come by, Theodore is sleeping better, but now that he sleeps at 8 o’clock, it’s hard for me to fall asleep that early even if I’m exhausted.

We started Theodore on antacids for his reflux (thanks for the tip Blair!). He used to scream and pull away at every feeding and irritable for hours after the feeding. I could tell something was bothering his stomach because he would grunt and cry  as if he was trying to push something out of his system. Then he would vomit and feel better. He vomits a lot. Some spit up is normal after a baby eats, but this was like projectile vomits, multiple times and it lasted hours after he was done feeding. I was at a mommy group meet up and I watched two other moms nurse their babies the same age as Theodore and it was an entirely different experience. The babies didn’t fuss or scream or have projectile vomit right after… so I knew I needed to do something about it. I couldn’t watch Theodore suffer everyday at every feeding if I could help it. The antacids have helped his tummy to settle, but we are keeping a close eye on his progress. Theodore also got his first round of vaccinations. It’s so hard to watch needles being shoved in your baby, but he was a champ.

Some of the physical developments we’ve seen this week have been his ability to follow things around the room. He now moves his head side to side without any struggle. He follows voices around the room and really locks in and often is focused on something he’s trying to see. Just this past week he’s been starting to reach and swat things on purpose! He’ll focus on an object and then swat at it. It’s amazing to see the little changes that are happening. He’s still a talkative little boy, we talk everyday with him cooing and screeching with joy. Oh and when he looks up at me and smiles on purpose, it melts my heart.

We’ve started to adventure out of the house more these days, which is good for both of us. Winters in Sweden are cold and miserable. We haven’t had so much snow, but rain is plenty and the darkness is a real drag. Now it’s starting to get lighter and brighter. It’s still cold, but I feel more comfortable taking him out. Little by little I’ll feel more comfortable taking him out and meeting people.

We went to a baby massage course that was being offered by our baby clinic and I started taking the mama fitness class at my local gym.

Aside from some developmental changes, we noticed something else the other day, he got his daddy’s ears! They seem to have popped out overnight! Daniel says it makes him look charming. This is their best Zoolander blue steel look!

A shift that has happened to me emotionally in the past month has been my unconditional love for him. I’ve loved him from the moment he was born, but in the beginning there would be moments when I was so overwhelmed, tired and stressed that I wasn’t sure how I was feeling. I had the baby blues and sad moments, even some moments of feeling numb. My pregnancy went so smooth that after having the baby, the challenges of being a new mom took it’s toll. I doubted a lot about myself and my capabilities as a mother. And to be honest, some moments I just didn’t feel right. I was off and I wasn’t adjusting to this new role very well. But this new level of love is unlike anything I have ever known. I had to get over that rocky patch to feel it, but now I don’t want to leave his side. I’m completely attached and he has me wrapped around his little curled up fingers. I couldn’t imagine not being his mother. Just seeing his little happy face every morning makes me want to cry of joy and love. My heart is so full and I know that I might not always know what I’m doing as a new mom, but I’ll always try to do what I think is best for him and it will always come out of love.

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