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Motherhood Realness: 11 Months Postpartum

November 7, 2018

This month has been a mixed bag of highs and lows… But hey, that’s life! But first the highs! My little guy is 11 months old!!! How and when did that happen?! It seem like just yesterday I was freakin’ out over his “witching hour” cries and now he’s almost 1 year old!

October is all about 2 things I love, Daniel’s birthday and Halloween! I took Daniel out for a birthday brunch just the two of us. It was nice to spend some alone time together, but all we talked about was how amazing our little guy was and then we raced home after to pick him up from his grandparents. LOL.

For Halloween, I always decorate the house and we usually have some kind of social gathering. This year we had 2! We were the Incredibles 2 and Theodore was Jack Jack.

Then on Halloween day Theodore was a tiger! I mean how cute right?

This past month has been one of the hardest months for me personally. For those that have read my past blog posts knows that I’ve been going through some emotional lows. It was brought on by a combination of sever sleep deprivation and emotions that I couldn’t sort out. This caused me to lash out at the ones that love me most. I don’t know how my husband puts up with me or has the patience when I’m unreasonable. I put my relationship with my sister in danger because of my bad judgement at a time I was low and not thinking clearly. I learned a lot about myself through that experience. It was the wake up call that I needed and although it was excruciatingly painful to go through, it was for the best.

So in order to better myself to break the bad habit cycle, I continue to work on myself through therapy. Our sessions have helped me gain much needed perspective on situations where I can’t see clearly myself because I let my emotions get the best of me. My goal is to learn the tools necessary to stop my self destructive behavior before it starts or if I feel it coming learn how to manage it and let it pass without acting on it. I’ve started reading and listening to motivational speakers and self development books. They have been a place of inspiration and made me feel that my mistakes don’t define me, but how I deal with them and how I can fix them do. So now, I’m slowly starting to feel better. It’ll still take time, but I’ll push my way through because I want to make sure that Theodore only gets the best of me.

 

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